Revision

Paragraph Before -

Come closer, I have a story to tell you. Many years ago, when the world was just beginning to be powered by machines and industry, there was a Cataclysm. Fire and rocks rained down upon Earth and great pieces of land broke away from it only to hover in the sky teasing the now barren wasteland that was left of the planet. Upon the earth there were tumultuous winds that crafted a desert, and giant fissures left behind by the Event. Very few had survived and would not survive long in the gusts of the deserts. So they began to cry out to me, the God of the universe, to have mercy upon them. And I heard their cries and sent my most beloved Angel Ceraphi to bring them hope.

Paragraph After -

Many years ago at the beginning of the Industrial Age there was a Cataclysm. The Earth was covered in fire and great pieces of land broke away only to be held in place several miles above the wasteland left over. All that was left of the Earth were great desserts swept by violent winds and deep fissures. The humans that survived began to cry out to God for mercy. He heard their cries and sent Ceraphi, his most beloved Angel, to bring them hope.

For Nancy Moose

Where as, Nancy Moose survived the trials and tribulations of being adviser to Kristen Bartels.

Playing at playwrighting

directions - Two ppl standing in line

K -James I don’t know how the heck you got these tickets but I sure as heck don’t want to know

J - Come on Kelly you don’t think that I would actually stop to anything like that. I just used some good old fashion charm!

K - Suuuure you did. Last think I heard you were smooth talking the grocer into giving you an appl there is no way you didn’t won these tickets by a contest.

J - Ok so maaaaaaaybe I took the clerk out for dinner.

Kelly puts a hand on her hop and cocks an eyebrown

J - Fine…and cocktails at my place after but I swear! Nothing more than that.

K - James I swear on all that is holy I don’t know how you can date a new one each week! Whoe was it before, cookie?

J - Cookie was last month, candy was last wek. Drat it all Kelly I know I’m not perfect but I am picky and I still cant find a girl that hold =s my interest for more than a week or two. New York is full of boring women.

K - Oh like me? Kelly’s face looks hurt despite the laughter in her voice

J - No no no, not you. You’re perfect! Great body, great style and the most killer smile in all of Manhattan. How come it isn’t you with a new man each week?

K - James, I only have eyes for you…. Kelly loops an arm through his and they enter the ticket booth

J - Two for the show please

Directions - 2 minutes write the same exact script - they must fall in love by the end. (loud noise)

k - James how the heck did you manage to get these tickets? I’ve been on the waiting list for this show for a week!

J - I have my ways Kelly.

K - Oh I know your ways James, I’ve seen you work your wiles on the grocer for an apple.

J - Oh come on. You don’t think I would stoop to that for a pair of broadway tickes do you?

Kelly is in mid eye brow cock when a loud honk blares from behind them

James turns and says “Whats the matter with you!” at a cabi and turns back to Kelly

J - Listen all I did was take the clerk out for dinner, its possible she came back to my place for cocktails but I swear that’s all that happened.

K - Ok ok I believe you but these better be the real deal or I swear I’ll kill you with my bare hands.

Some posts

12 Guideposts for acting:

1) Relationship-establishing the relationships between characters

2) What are you fighting for? What is there main objective (what is conflict)

3) The moment before. What just happened to the character?

4) Humor-lightens the mood

5) Opposites-different interpretation

6) Discoveries-find something new to the character

7) Communication/competition- communicate under the line

8) Importance-what is vitally important

9) Find the events-display the emotion

10) Place- where you’re at

11) Game play/role play-whose going to win the game? A role within a role

12) Mystery/secret-if you tell yourself you have a secret you need to keep it away from someone it energizes the scene. Makes audience want more.

Florida road trip observations

There are two things about Missouri that bother me. Their mile markers are every 2 tenths of a mile....and they put their cemeteries on hill sides. Weird Freaking Missouri.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Limerick for St. Patrick's Day

There was a lil' man name Blinken
who was hopin' to do some drinkin'
but after one beer
twas drunk off his rear
The rest of the night he was winkn'

IMAGE

Cats - The noise reverberating from my cat sends a vibration through my fingertips and tickles my arms into producing goose bumps.

Shoes - All I could thing about was the clicking of her shoes on the hard tile floor, and how it echoed in my mind like a machine gun.

Spring - That first thought of Spring is all squashy and wet, like the grassy yard after an April shower.

Bubbles - As I pried my face off the slick linoleum floor my first thought isn't the bruise I'd have tomorrow but the great waste as my favorite glass jar of bubble bath spilled broken onto the floor.

Focus

The focus of my story is:

Meeting my birth mother

The focus of Ashley's story is:

Meeting her boyfriend

Brainstorming for Nonfiction story

A list of people that are involved in my story -
Mom, Beth, Jon, Amy, Leonard, Chad, Dad, the waitress, the host, myself, Angie, my college choice, the other people eating at Perkins and Heather.

Scenes -
Taking in my mother's clothing
crying in the car
chewing my nails all the way to town
It was a cloudy day - possible rain - my favorite weather
adoption day


How many children born out of wedlock year 1986
Dad's car in 86, price of gas...etc

Paperclip Joe

I remember in middle school and high school the cute little animated paper clip that would introduce you to Microsoft Word. I remember spending some serious time trying to change him from a paperclip to a wizard or a puppy or kitty. I wanted the option of having a different animation but because the school had only purchased the most basic of Microsoft Office you couldn't save a different animation. It had to be the Paperclip.

Paperclips are so simple. Just a long piece of metal (steel to be exact) bent or curved into a specific shape. It's use is fairly simple as well. It holds things together. Not permanently, just for a shorter period of time, until someone needs those papers again, or decides to make them stuck together forever - staple style.

Sentence into Paragraph

Description and Metaphor ---> an exercise

She was a big woman.

Or

The party was filled with tiny waists and barely there boobs. My eyes were unimpressed by all their glitter and glam attempts to get noticed. But it wasn’t until she arrived that I actually started to pay attention. She was trying to sneak in a side door but when your curves are that vivacious there really is no way to sneak in through a small door. The dress she wore was black, probably an attempt at hiding the bumps and plumps of her figure but it wasn’t doing a very good job. In fact I was grateful to it for showing her off. Her cleavage was heaving to escape the top of her dress and this was only greatly emphasized by her breathing as she must have been running to get here in time. Her hips grazed tables and chairs as she sidled through them, looking for a familiar face. When finally her eyes met mine I winked and the rosy color already on her plump cheeks deepened and she smiled. When she reached me she extended a hand to mine and I took it and kissed the back, its softness not diminished but amplified by its oversize. “Darling, you seem to have brought the party with you. Shall we?”

It was a scary neighborhood

Or

Walking down the sidewalk just before my street at night was kind of like walking through a horror movie. White picket fences and trees make shadows on the sidewalk that could be Freddy or Jason; scary clown hands creeping out from the sewer drains under the sidewalk to grasp your ankles. But the worst part is the last house before you turn onto my block. It’s huge gaping windows swallow the light from the street like an obese man and a plate full of hamburgers. Usually I pass it on the opposite side of the street so I don’t have to feel the air around me cool when I pass into the shadow of the house. Instead of a picket fence the owner’s had installed a stone fence with metal spikes on top. If they were going for a gothic look they had achieved it in spades.

The wreck happened quickly

or

I was driving down the street when it happened. In the movies it’s always a slow motion scene with glass showering artistically around the passengers in the car and their heads flopping around like rag dolls. But that’s all a lie. My accident happened so quickly that I barely remember the details. It felt to me like the truck that hit my passenger side door drove right through me. And the next thing I know there is blood trickling down my face and I’m brushing glass off my legs.

first memories

What's the earliest thing I can remember?
Probably one of the earlier memories I have is of my brother and sister. I remember them fighting over where I would sleep at night. Some nights I would sleep on the floor in my sisters bedroom, other nights I would sleep in my brother's room next to the heater vent. Probably around the same time I remember playing outside in the lilac bush with my cousins. We would dig holes and make tents and pretend that we were a family living on the run. My cousin always named himself Peter Built (mostly because he liked semis). I remember waiting by the flagpole in the yard for my brother and sister to come home from school on the bus.

John Updyke - A&P

First initial post here is 3 reactions to the short story A&P by John Updyke. Click John's name to read it first.
Each reaction is written after it's corresponding read. After reading it once, twice and then three times.

#1 – What first stood out to me about A&P was the main character’s testosterone take on the three girls. He immediately picks out their physical flaws and lets the audience know exactly what part of his body he is thinking with. So my initial thought about the story is that Sammy is just your typical guy. Even with his chivalry at the end he still doesn’t impress me that much.

#2 - One specific paragraph that really sings of Updyke’s talent is the following;

“I thought and said "No" but it wasn't about that I was thinking. I go through the punches, 4, 9, GROC, TOT -- it's more complicated than you think, and after you do it often enough, it begins to make a lttle song, that you hear words to, in my case "Hello (bing) there, you (gung) hap-py pee-pul (splat)"-the splat being the drawer flying out. I uncrease the bill, tenderly as you may imagine, it just having come from between the two smoothest scoops of vanilla I had ever known were there, and pass a half and a penny into her narrow pink palm, and nestle the herrings in a bag and twist its neck and hand it over, all the time thinking.”

He shows the sort of dance and rhythm that you get when you work a register or a counter for awhile. Not only is he able to write it, he is able to show that same rhythm through the text. The whole paragraph has that flow as well. One other story telling weave that I really enjoy is the irony of the ending. The girls walk in and put on a show for Sammy, but when our chivalrous main character tries to put on his show for them they have already moved on.

#3 -Between the dialogue and narration there is an imbalance. Most of Updyke’s story is narration. I would put it about 80/20 if we are talking percentage. Updyke is right to do it that way as the narration is much more important to the story than the dialogue. Even without Sammy saying he quits you would know he is quitting as he takes his apron and tie off and puts in on the counter and walks out. The movement into dialogue is almost forced. Almost like Sammy is more comfortable in his head than he is in his words.